Until the mother envelopes us in darkness
by siri writes
Summary: This is just some fluff and angst with the inner circle from after Rhys returns home from Under the Mountain. Written from Mor's POV


We all stared at Rhys, who had barely improved in the past month that he'd been home. Every day, he would rise and pretend that everything was normal, that _he_ was normal. But he wasn't. Unbeknownst to him, we all knew that every night he'd get up and throw up in his bathroom. And then he wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night. The bags under his eyes told us as much.

Amren finally broke the silence. "High Lord, it is… necessary that you take the time to visit the Court of Nightmares soon. They have been out of control for too long, and it is time their High Lord returns to take control."

Rhys simply looked up and stared Amren straight in her eyes, "no." He said it so quietly, yet with such force that the rest of us knew not to challenge that tone. Then, surprisingly, Cassian spoke up.

"Rhys, tell us what to do. What can we do to help?" His voice was so vulnerable and so unlike Cassian that I looked up and stared at the General who commanded Rhys's armies. Cassian had tears running down his face. He was looking in earnest at Rhys, who did not look back and simply stared at the wine in front of him.

"There is nothing. And I wish I could tell you otherwise, but it is true. No amount of health on your part can-" suddenly Rhys closed his eyes and started saying, "no, no, no." I jumped up and ran to Rhys embracing him around his middle. He slowly began to calm down and opened his eyes. "I'm fine."

We all looked in disbelief at him but did not utter another word. The rest of the meal continued mostly without disturbance and with no contribution from Rhys. A servant with beautiful, red hair walked in and began clearing the plates, beginning with Rhys's. He simply stared at her hair as she moved around the table, efficiently collecting the plates. Her hair. Red. Like Amaranth- "You may leave." My voice rang out clear and commanding and the servant bowed once before walking out of the room. We all stared at Rhys and saw glistening tears slide down his face.

He said to no one in particular, "I can't stand this. I watched her die and there was nothing I could do to stop it. With all my power and skill, there was nothing I could do to prevent that bitch from snapping her neck. He won't even help her. Every night, she wakes up and has nightmares, yet he acts like they don't exist. He acts like her problems will be solved over time. He thinks, that if he ignores them, she will start acting normal again. She won't."

He couldn't even refer to her by her name. Amren realised this as well. "Say her name, Rhysand."

"I can't."

Amren glared at him. "Say it."

"Feyre. Her name is Feyre."

The way he said it… It was as if he did not want to ever stop saying it. As if her very name was like and prayer on his tongue.

Then Azriel, who had always been a male of limited words spoke up. "What does she look like?"

Rhys smiled, one of the very few that we'd seen since he had returned from that hellhole. "She has brown hair with streaks of bronze that flow in waves down to her lower back. Her eyes are grey, but flecks of brilliant blue. She's very nearly as stubborn as me and has a fine temper to go along with it. I wish I could've heard her laugh, I think it would've been beautiful. I never even got to see her truly smiling. Because in that place, even I forgot how to smile. Even I forgot what joy and love was."

"You ask why I can't go to the Court of Nightmares, Amren. It's because Amarantha modelled her home after it. She modelled her bedroom-," his voice cracked at these words, "she modelled her bedroom after the throne room in that hideous place. And I can't go back there again. I can't go back to that place when I only just escaped."

We all looked at him in shock. We still did not know exactly what Rhys had been forced to endure in that place, but we knew it had been bad.

Cass rose from his seat and clapped his hand on Rhys's back. "We're here with you now Rhys, and you have to deal with us until the mother takes you away from us; and even then, we'll go together."


End file.
